Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
