i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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