Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Randomize
