Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
false alarm. still invincible.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Randomize