Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize