Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
