Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Holy sore nipples Batman
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
