She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
