Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
