i don't plan on having that self control this summer
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
