I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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