Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize