She said her name was "party"
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
