No I am not eating basil off your cock
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
