is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize