Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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