Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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