I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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