Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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