WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
