You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
