she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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