erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You were trust falling into bushes
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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