Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
