I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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