she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
