i just wanna soil my oats bro
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
