O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
