i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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