week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize