Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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