Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Oh god it's open bar.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
