Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
