is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
