I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
