woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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