I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
