Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
