I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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