I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
