i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
