your room smells of hookers.
And success
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize