I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I supernannyed him into submission
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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