One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
