I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
