It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
