Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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