seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
