um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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