I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
