Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
