I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
