I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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