Porn is love you can see.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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