As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
