you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
