So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
