Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
