do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
