And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
it was like eating out sand paper
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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