Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
