I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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